"Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness that most frightens us." - Marianne Williamson
As i extract screen shots of my life's abandoned memories, certain moments rise above others. To these prominent moments, i attribute the person i am.
Through peril and prevail do we gain experience, and through experience we gain wisdom. That experience and wisdom defines who we have become, and who we have yet to become.
If i were to pin point one aspect of life that i have become fairly intimate with, it would be fear.
Fear: alarm, apprehension, cowardice.
I once had a friend who taught me much regarding fear.
He defined fear as: False Evidence Appearing Real.
We spoke much of fear. What it is, what it's not, the impact of, and how to surmount its constant, relentless grapple.
As i began to take an inventory of the force i allow fear to have in my life, i was alarmed.
So much of the choices i make in my life are governed by fear: Fear of rejection, fear of vague uncertainties, fear of the unfamiliar, fear of failure, fear of letting go, fear of opening a door of new opportunity, fear of pain.
Fear can consume each and every aspect of life if it is allowed to do so.
Previous to my self reflection, a considerable amount of my life was consumed by fear, unperceived by me.
As i came to this realization, the question naturally arose, how can i eliminate this stringent authority that so fully overwhelms me?
My good friend then asked me the prize winning question, "What is your biggest fear, Kylie?"
Me, being my slightly closed off, prideful self, responded with a simple, "Nothing. Fear is not an issue for me."
Not believing my snide counter in the slightest degree, he went to work on me.
After much chipping away at my sheltering, stubborn walls, he wrestled a few out of me.
He helped me understand that i consistently hold back in several areas of my life because of fear.
He instructed that the way to conquer, is to look fear in the face and say, "I just don't care."
He said, "learn to trust yourself, Kylie. Don't allow fear to govern you."
From that point I resolved to allow faith to be the main force that dictates my life.
The strength that i have acquired by resisting fear on a daily basis is incomprehensible.
I have accomplished things that i never ventured to deem attainable.
Each day, i am less afraid to love and be loved.
I am less afraid to tread a new trail and venture down an unbeaten path.
I am less afraid each day, to let my light shine, and not shrink in the presence of others.
I am less afraid to be Me.
And for that, i am eternally thankful.
